I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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