walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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