How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
