I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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