is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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