Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
