Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
