ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
