i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I love you. Go after that dick
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize