I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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