I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
