As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
