they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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