He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
