did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
