Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize