remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
