That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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