jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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