So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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