I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
