do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
