final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
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dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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