Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize