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• (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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• (+41): View more from Switzerland

  look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.

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