Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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