Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
