I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
