Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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