These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
