and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
