M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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