i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved