'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
