I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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