Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
