I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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