I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
