My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
