Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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