My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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