Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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