Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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