Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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