everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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