I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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