that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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