I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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