I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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