we have officially lost it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
