i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
