dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
