totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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