Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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