You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
