hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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