Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
