We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
