I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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