"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
