Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
