I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
