think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am spending my child support on dildos
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
