i just wanna soil my oats bro
"it" just moved
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
